The D Word

Don't Do D_ _ _ _

We all know people that do. It'd be nice to think about it peaking at high school and gradually declining. Sadly, it got worse in college, but the triple-sad part is that some people are 30-pushing-40 and they won't slow down. The D word oozes through their veins in the same manner as an evil spirit, and they remain clueless that there is even a problem.

"Don't do drugs" was for McGruff the Crime Dog. I'm talking about D-r-a-m-a.

The parallels to drugs are visible if you look hard enough. Self-Denial. Increased tension in relationships. Close friends start avoiding you.

I thought long and hard about how to classify the different types of drama. Was their a clever acronym to be created or a quadrant to show visually?  In the end, I chose categories created by both the actions and the commotions of the crime:

A. Dr. Phil Drama.   Signified by making sure everyone around is involved in not only their relationship issues, but more importantly- embedded into the actualy break-ups.  Their phone calls, their texts, and their facebook status are all a Time Square flashy bullentin board for their dying relationship.

B. Lindsey Lohan Drama.  Constantly surrounded by all sorts of drama, but all of it is based on their own bad decisions. Even more- according to them, they've never ever ever ever did anything wrong.

C. SNL Drama. The complete Debbie Downer. Every story that comes out of this person's mouth is negative- to a point where you can hear the birds stop chirping outside every time he or she opens their mouth.  Buzz Kill Central.  

D.  Tu Pac Drama- All eyez on me.  This person cannot stand the attention or focus of the group not being pointed directly at him or her, so the result is that every story forces you to be sympathetic in some way, shape, or form. 

E. King Midas Drama. Everything that person touches seems to turn into turmoil. Drama appears to be a skill or artform to this person.

I'd bet you a Five Guys' Burger that you mentally just placed a couple people into at least 1 or 2 of those categories. And I bet those people constantly confuse leaning on friends for help with sucking their circle of friends into miserable blackholes. In some cases, frequency and repetition may be the key.  How would your friends categorize the stories and situations you share?

I'm a big fan of 'choice' accountability in people. You can choose anything you want: You receive bad work news at 7:30am- you can choose to let it affect your whole day negatively, or you can take it in stride and still be productive.  Your signficant other pisses you off royally- you can choose to let everyone on Earth know, or you can communicate with that person to resolve the issue with a minimal affect on others. Choose your path. Choose your attitude. And remember your attitudes and moods have the chance of inspiring people.....as well as chance of demotivating them.

So walk to a mirror right now, look at the attractive individual in the reflection, and ask this: When life gets tough for me- what attitudes and moods do I project onto others?  Do I remain positive and focus on solutions and better outcomes? Or do I harness people in a cage of barbed wire so they're trapped? 

Choose wisely. Bring motivation to the table. And don't do Drama.

~Jake Slivensky

DRAMARAMA

There are people of all ages seem to incite mayhem. Some do it on purpose and others unintentionally. For some, life without it would be boring. I don't care if you are in high school or in your 60's and whether you live in Laguna Beach or at Melrose Place, in real life the drama must go!

Don’t be stupid

I know it is hard to imagine but don't assume anything. Hear say is gossip. Do you remember the exercise from grade school that demonstrated miscommunication? You started on one side of the room with a simple phrase and each person had to repeat it to the next and in the end it was nothing like it began. He said she said equals nothing without facts. Go straight to the source before you get upset that you heard that your ex cheated on you with your sister's ex while they were away on vacation and happened to run into each other while drunk at an amusement park while singing Barry Manilow songs to some pigeons. Think before you act.

Reaction distraction

This just perpetuates the most likely non-existent issue at hand. When you react without thinking things through emotions run the brain. Logical thinking is not emotional thinking. Suddenly you are wrapped up in the momentum of the drama because you did not stop it when you had the chance. Guess what happens next? Well, it is like being on a free fall ride to who knows where and past any point of return and you can only look forward, not back. Why not just jump off the bridge before looking to see what you are jumping into or walk blindfolded into traffic? Just blame the messenger nothing at this point is your fault.

Act like an adult

I am not just talking to adults but those that pretend to be adults before they are. There is a logical reason for everything if you choose to take the time to let the fog clear. Treat people the way you want to be treated. You get back the energy and attitude you put out there. Maturity does not just mean working and taking care of bills, it also means respecting yourself as well as others.

Mind over matter

Some things are easier said than done. The heart and the mind often conflict one another. The heart may heal but the mind does not always forget. Sometimes the hardest things and the right things are the same. The immediate pain is easier to deal with than long term pain. Sometimes letting go of a feeling is freeing. So what is Julie called you a bitch. Anger usually comes from hurt. You can't control others but you can control your reaction to them. Take the high road and enjoy the view. It is always better than looking from the bottom up.

As you were

Life goes on. The majority of drama occurs over things that really don't make much of a difference in the long run. What may seem like a monumental issue at the time later seems just silly. The longer you live and the more you experience the less the trivial things matter. Your first heartbreak usually makes you feel like dying and the end of the world. However, the more you date, love and lose love the more you realize that what is next is more important than what was.

Sometimes I like a good drama or even dramedy on the big or small screen. It can be attractive and glamorous from a far but in real life it is just a waste of time and energy.

By Trey Mitchell